There’s a voice deep inside us. A soft voice that tells us our truths. An all knowing voice that comes from a place of self-love. Not the shallow but louder voice of self-doubt but a voice born into our soul that comes from love, purity, compassion and wisdom. Let’s call it our “soul voice”. It wants to guide us, it wants what’s best for us, it wants us to fulfill the longings of our soul.
Yet too often we ignore it. We hear the opinions of others, loudly washing out that quiter inner voice of love. And those outside opinions create a conflict with our soul voice, often paralyzing us when it comes to making important decisions.
Trusting yourself is particularly difficult for people who feel things deeply. People who bruise easily. People who absorb the emotions of those around them, who feel the pain of others as if it is their own.
This ability to feel deeply, empathize, absorb, and take it all in so profoundly (the very qualities that help us heal and serve others so well), is often what leads to our own self doubts and blocks. Blocks that prevent us from feeling secure in ourselves, from feeling trustworthy in our own eyes.
Just as easily as we can absorb someone else’s sadness, we also absorb criticism, especially if it was given during vulnerable times in our life. We take it in, deeply, and let it perculate through our cells until it becomes embedded in our programming.
The qualities we’re able to give so well and freely to others are often the hardest things to give to ourselves. So while we so easily help others to feel comforted, secure, understood, validated, and respected, we dump the doubts of the world upon ourselves. We can help others connect to their own soul voices but we often can’t hear our own.
And so we wonder around in confusion when important decisions are on the line.
It doesn’t have to be this way. We can use the gifts we give to the world and direct them to ourselves.
We can learn to trust ourselves and make decisions with clarity. But this is not a switch you turn on and off, it’s a practice, a nurturing.
Here are five steps to growing your sense of trust in yourself:
1. Connect with Your Soul Voice.
It’s not easy to hear our soul voice through all the doubt and confusion circulating around in our head.
To access it think of when you’re helping someone you cherish with a problem. You see them struggling, you want to fix it all for them, you want to heal every aspect of their pain, you see nothing but their potential, you offer nothing but helpful solutions. That place of love you’re approaching them from is often straight from your soul voice.
When your attention is directed outwards towards helping someone else, your blocks are often released, allowing you to approach their problem with purity and clarity.
Find that voice. That egoless voice born of pure compassion and respect. Find that voice and practice using it on yourself. This is a practice you must do every day until your soul voice is the loudest one you hear.
2. Substantiate Your Trustworthiness.
Think back to times when you followed your inner instincts against the opinions of others and you experienced a favorable outcome. And think back to the times when you followed the opinions of others against your inner instincts and you suffered because of it.
List out those times. What impact did each of those decisions have on your life? What would your life be like if you had chosen differently?
Your soul voice never lets you down. When you truly connect to it it will lead you to where you need to go time and time again. You may not realize it as it’s happening, but if you look back at some of the decisions you’ve made in the past based upon a longing deep within you, you’ll like see just how knowing your soul voice truly was. You’ll likely see that it’s been guiding you effectively all along, helping you to grow and evolve along the way.
When you’re faced with a big decision, think of those times and your trust in yourself will grow.
3. Stretch and Expand.
When faced with an important decision, ask yourself which path will stretch and expand you the most. Which path will challenge you to grow – professionally, spiritually, personally, or in whatever way your decision focuses on.
Which path pushes you outside of your comfort zone in a positive way versus the path that makes you feel like you want to crawl inward, shrink or run.
The path that challenges you to grow may be scary but it is likely the path you’re being called to take. In analyzing it this way you’ll be able to see if you’re basing your decision on fear based thinking or on the deeper voice that believes in you and sees your potential.
4. Align Yourself with People Who Understand and Support You.
There’s no faster way to stifle your soul voice than if you’re surrounded by people who don’t get you, who criticize you, who belittle your opinions and smother you with theirs, who make you shrink. This can be particularly damaging if it’s coming from family members.
It’s hard to hear your soul voice in such a hostile environment. And so you shrink, smother and quiet your inner wisdom instead of working on expanding it.
Surround yourself with people who love, support and nurture you, people who help you stretch and expand, and your soul voice will thrive.
5. Let Go and Look Forward.
Make your decision. Make it from a place of love. And then let go. Don’t try to move forward while looking backward. Trust in the process of life. Trust that your soul voice is conspiring with the Universe to get you to go exactly where you need to be.
The more faith you put into your decision, the better your outcome will be. Make your decision and then only look forward. See the end in sight and your soul will continue to conspire with the Universe to get you there.
And when voices of doubt and judgment inevitably come flooding back through, just stop and pause. Close your eyes. Meditate. Go for a walk in nature. Go through these steps again and wait for your soul voice to rise back up. Welcome it back in.
What are your biggest struggles when it comes to trusting yourself and making important decisions?