5 Keys to Breaking Bad Relationship Patterns

5 Keys to Breaking Bad Relationship Patterns

5 Keys to Breaking Bad Relationship Patterns photo

“A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction…
But the sky knows the reasons and the patterns behind all clouds,
and you will know, too, when you lift yourself high enough
to see beyond horizons.” ~ Richard Bach

I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships lately. About the unhealthy patterns we sometimes weave into them. So many of us seem to repeat the same relationship stories over and over again throughout our lives. They look different at first, but before we know it we’re right back where we were however many years ago, dealing with issues we’d sworn we put behind us. 

It doesn’t have to be that way. 

Perhaps you’ve experienced this. Maybe you keep dating the same type of guy/gal. Maybe you keep finding friendships that make you feel uncomfortable, taken advantage of, not listened to, or that generally bring out the worst in you, instead of the best. 

Repetition. Recycling. But the garbage here is of the emotional kind. Garbage you can’t seem to get out of your life. Out of you. And so it shows up, again and again, stinking up your world.  

Didn’t you just date a guy who brought out these same exact issues a few months ago? Wasn’t he basically the same guy you dated three years ago? Didn’t you just dump that friend who always uses harsh nasty words to describe other people, only to find a new one a year later? 

And so, it keeps happening, over and over again… 

Sometimes it feels like it’s our destiny to relive endless versions of the same situation. As if the Universe is trying to hammer in some kind of message. As if she’s trying to imprint an ugly pattern into our soul.  

Stuck in the ‘eternal sunshine of the spotless mind’… but with different characters every time. Different players, same outcome.     

Nothing is accidental. Nothing is coincidence. And no one is conspiring against us. It’s all devised by our subconscious. We’re calling for this repetition. Deeply. It represents something unfulfilled, unresolved. And it’s in our control to change it. 

Below are 5 ways to challenge those bad patterns so you can focus on weaving more beauty into new and existing relationships. 

1. Forgive Yourself. 

We obviously play a huge role in the creation of these bad relationships. And while they often go disguised for awhile, when the pattern finally rears it ugly design, we’re left wondering what’s wrong with us. How did we allow this to happen, again. We must not be destined for anything better. We must deserve this. 

That kind of self talk certainly doesn’t help end the bad pattern you’re hoping to break. If anything it reinforces it by robbing you of all power and hope. 

Understand that it’s not your fault.  Our subconscious minds control so much of what we do. And often we don’t know to challenge the subconscious beliefs that bring us to dark places until we’re already there, knee deep, buried in emotional garbage. 

You didn’t ask for the unhealthy relationships you’ve found yourself in. You’re not a masochist. You’re not an emotional cutter. 

What you are is someone who hasn’t learned the lesson you were meant to learn quite yet. Someone who wants deeply to resolve something but who just needs the right tools to do so. 

So forgive yourself. Forgive all the times you’ve entered into a relationship that wasn’t healthy, that caused you to feel hurt, unworthy, or unnoticed. Or that caused you to hurt others. 

Start with forgiveness. Only after you forgive yourself can you take steps forward to weave a new pattern. Forgiveness will help you put the past where it belongs – in the past – so it stops tainting your future. 

So close your eyes. Tell yourself you forgive. Feel it wash over you. Then take the next step forward. 

2. Understand Where the Pattern Came From.  

After you’ve forgiven yourself you can start to do some work to correct this yucky pattern you keep sewing into your life. 

If it’s a pattern you’ve repeated multiple times you should be able to pinpoint some of the traits, characteristics, and symptoms. Think about them, write them down, analyze them. What exactly do all these relationships have in common? What were some telltale warning signs that you missed early on but can now easily identify? What behaviors have these relationships brought out in you time and time again? What was it about those relationships that triggered such behaviors in you? 

Now think about what led you to enter those relationships. What was it you were longing for? What feelings were you enjoying? What results were you hoping for? What emotions were these relationships triggering for you? 

A lot of times we enter into relationships because they feel familiar to us, like a story we know well, so we fall right into them seamlessly, without even giving it much thought. Sometimes that’s okay and other times it’s a reflection of a story that wasn’t good for us to begin with. 

Understanding where the pattern comes from and how it was created is key to finding ways to break it.

3. Recognize the Warning Signs

Now it’s time to take a look at some of the warning signs you may have overlooked in the past so you can quickly identify them when they come up again. 

I used to long for love, badly. I wanted to feel adored. I looked for other people’s love to give me security. And that often led me into relationships with possessive and controlling men. These relationships felt amazing at first because they were so intense but before I knew it I was back into an old pattern. Why didn’t I see it coming? Now that I look back I can see how I missed a lot of clues. 

So what are some of the warning signs for your pattern? You have to look hard for these, as they can be disguised as really attractive things that lure you in like bait. 

Identify the warning signs and you won’t get trapped so easily. 

4. Clarify How You Really Want to Feel. 

What kind of relationship are you really hoping for? Describe it. Flesh it out.  

Most importantly, what does it feel like? Focus less on what the person looks like or what they do for a living. Focus instead on the feeling. 

One of the reasons I was fortunate enough to end up with my husband was because I had had enough bad relationships to really force myself to understand the underlying feelings I was really longing for. Not the on the surface feelings that were based on insecurities I had, like wanting to feel adored. But the real deep down feelings I hadn’t even realized I was longing for. 

For me, what I truly longed for, what my soul wanted to live forever with, was a relationship full of peace. 

Peace. That’s all I wanted. Something so big, yet so simple, I didn’t even know to wish for it. 

And then when I met my husband and we fell in love in the unlikeliest of love stories, it was the peace in our everyday dynamic that made it work.  

So dig deep, what is it you are truly longing for? What are the feelings that would help you happily stay in a relationship/friendship forever. 

When you identify the feelings you long for you won’t get as easily lured in by the triggers you’ve identified in #3 above. 

5. Move Forward.  

Don’t be fearful of getting into new relationships. We learn something new with every one, which is the whole point of life anyway; to live and love, make mistakes, learn, and go forward. 

So take the lessons you’ve learned and trust that you’ll take the right steps forward. And if you find yourself back in a bad relationship, it just means that there was something else for you to learn. So take the time to reflect on it and correct course and you’ll be that much closer to filling your life with the feelings you’ve been longing for in your relationships. 

Forgive. Understand. Recognize. Clarify. Move. 

Take these steps and eventually the threads of your bad relationship patterns will come undone from the cloth of your soul. 

I’d love to hear from you if this resonated. Leave a comment letting me know of any bad relationship patterns you’d like to break. I hope these steps have been helpful. 

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9 Actions to Take When You’re Feeling Nervous & Insecure

9 Actions to Take When You’re Feeling Nervous & Insecure

9 Actions to Take When You’re Feeling Nervous & Insecure

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained. 
~Arthur Somers Roche

We all battle nerves and insecurities, and when we lose the battle, they rob us of our potential.

Personally I’ve battled insecurities quite a bit in my life. I know what it’s like to go from feeling as powerful as a lioness, to feeling as meek as a caterpillar. And when you feel meek, you act meek, and so people perceive you as such. Little do they know there’s so much strength inside of you.

I’ve had situations, one extremely embarrassing one in particular, where nerves and insecurities took me over so tremendously that I could barely speak. My body shook, my words stuttered, nothing I said made any sense, and my ego walked away with its tail in between its legs. Not my most impressive moment.

I’ve come a long way in learning how to fight my security attacking demons but it’s taken years to learn the tricks and maneuvers that help me find my strength when I feel weakness starting to surface. In a world where first impressions are so important, it’s so imperative that we put our best, strongest, bravest foot forward. 

Below are some of my best tips for battling the nerves and insecurities that arise just when you really need to shine the most. Since I started using these tips I haven’t had one of those crushingly ego bruising embarrassing moments that I wish I could erase from my memory. And each tip is incredibly easy to implement so I hope they help you a bit as well.

1. Breathe Deep.

Breathing deeply is one of the absolute best ways to calm a nervous mind. Bringing in an abundance of oxygen deep into your diaphragm is a well proven way to reduce stress and anxiety (especially if you feel an anxiety attack coming on).

When we’re anxious we start to take fast shallow breathes directly from our chests instead of our diaphragms. This prevents your blood from being properly oxygenated which throws off the oxygen/carbon dioxide balance. This then signals a stress response which results in an increased heart rate, dizziness, muscle tension and other physical symptoms of anxiety. So when you’re starting to feel anxious you need to consciously ensure that you are taking deep, long, even breaths straight into your diaphragm. 

If you have an interview, or you need to speak in front of a group, or you want to approach someone you admire, or any other situation where you feel your nerves and insecurities starting to take over every cell of your body, stop and take a series of long deep breaths (preferably with your eyes closed) where you hold the oxygen in your diaphragm for a few seconds each time before releasing it. There is no faster or easier way to calm yourself down.

It sounds too good to be true but trust me, it is so effective.

2. Check Your Posture.

When we’re feeling insecure, we often try to make ourselves appear smaller. So we hunch over, fold our arms, and let our eyes fall to the floor. Your body is simply responding to how your brain feels.

What I’ve found is that your brain can just as easily respond to what your body is telling it. So when you’re feeling your insecurities come on immediately check your posture. Are you slouching forward? What are your arms doing? Be aware of your body. Throw your shoulders back and extend your neck upwards as if a string is lifting you up.

If you can, do some stretching exercises before the event that’s causing your insecurities to rise up. Stretch with your arms out and open wide. In doing so you are not only relaxing your muscles but you’re also making yourself as physically big as you can possibly be. Instead of letting your body cower in fear you are using your body to tell your brain that you are big and powerful, tall and proud. You are worthy.

3. Smile.

Another incredibly easy yet effective way to use your body to get your brain to relax – smile. Smiling is one of the most powerful ways to not only enhance the moods of those around you but to completely alter your mood in the process.

If you’re about to meet someone or do something that’s incredibly scary to you, start smiling. You may not feel like it, every cell in your body may be telling you that the last thing you want to do is put a smile on your face, but do it anyway. It will immediately relax you. It’s like a energy zap to your brain telling it that all is okay, there’s really nothing to fear, and you’re going to enjoy every second of what you’re about to experience.

Whether you’re feeling insecure, stressed, anxious, down, bored, whatever, just start smiling – big and wide – throw in a little laugh if you want to, you will immediately see things through a new, happier, more secure and relaxed light.

4. Remember A Time When You Felt Really Powerful.

Even the most nervous and insecure have had one time or another where they were at their best self, their most powerful, most self-assured, most secure. If you’re about to meet someone or do something that rattles your chakras, take a moment and close your eyes. Think about that time when for whatever reason all of your demons faded away and you were able to accomplish just what you hoped to accomplish, with an elegance and grace that suprised even yourself.

Who was that person? What allowed her to be so relaxed, so self-assured? What was she tapping into?

That person was you. And you were tapping into your core. The true essence of who you are before all the life circumstances and ego bruising mishaps came along that try to smother your true potential.

That strong version of you is still there, there are simply a few layers on top that you need to learn how to peel away. Picture yourself removing those dusty layers, one by one, so that the you underneath can shine.

So as you step forward into the big, bad and scary situation that has you feeling the jitters, picture the core you, dusty layers peeled away… the you that has shown so brightly in the past when you were feeling your best, picture that person stepping forward.

5. Accept it. Don’t Fight It.

When I used to struggle endlessly with nerves one of the biggest mistakes I made was to try and fight it. And so the internal dialogue would go something like this “Stop it. Relax. Calm down. Do not mess this up. OMG my body’s shaking, I’m not going to be able to speak, I suck.”

How do you think the end result of that internal dialogue went? Not good.

I’ve learned that if I’m starting to feel nervous, instead of fighting it and yelling at myself internally to calm the heck down (which only ever backfires), I’m way better off acknowledging my nerves in a loving way, respecting that they’re merely there to show me how important something is to me, and then giving myself permission to feel nervous.

We all get nervous, it’s human nature, by accepting it you can lean into it, gently and lovingly, and then it simply does not take you over. I’m sure you’ve heard it a thousand times by now - what you resist persists. Once you stop resisting you stop becoming your own worst enemy.

I’ve learned to accept my nerves so much that I can now even joke, with a big smile on my face, about my own nervousness. And shockingly enough, instead of feeling like it’s doomsday when my nerves start to overflow, it can even feel fun and exciting. Yup, I said it, it can feel fun and exciting to feel nervous – sometimes ;)

6. Ask Yourself These Questions.

A little perspective goes a long way. So whenever you’re feeling like your nerves are going to take you over, ask yourself what you’re really afraid of? What is the absolute worst case scenario? If that worst case scenario were to come true, would it be the end of your world? In five years, would you still be hating yourself for it? Would there be absolutely no lessons you could learn from it? Would it just completely annihilate your life?

Chances are, you’d live, you’d love and you’d move on. As they say, the greatest fear is fear itself.

7. Think About Who or What You’re Trying to Help.

Usually our insecurities come up when we’re hoping to get something from someone. Whether that’s attention, a better grade, a new job, a new client, admiration, applause, you name it.

The more we want something from someone the more reason for our nerves and insecurities to spike.

A very simple way to take the edge off of that wanting is to reframe it in terms of how you can help the person you’re hoping to get something from. Chances are you are in fact trying to help them in some way. Maybe you’re helping them with a problem, or you’re helping to make a discussion they’re leading richer and more interesting, or you’re offering the skills that could make someone’s life easier.

Reframe what you’re presenting so that you’re coming from a place of generosity. The less you feel like you’re trying to take from someone, the more you’ll calm down and present what you have to give in a stronger and more abundant light.

Nerves and insecurities come from a feeling of lack. Focus on what you have to give and how you can help and your nerves will fall to the wayside.

8. Don’t Over Compensate.

When we’re feeling really insecure sometimes we try to overcompensate with extremely bold statements and outlandish promises or we try to be someone we’re not, because heaven forbid we just be ourselves.

Remember your core, the true you, you at your greatest potential. That you is not flashy, cavalier or arrogant. That you is calm, composed, graceful, relaxed and strong.

If you’re being fake it will be transparent and will only increase your own feelings of lack. You are better than that. Use these tips and you’ll be able to shine just as you are.

9. Breathe.

Lastly, we’re back to the number one tip. If you forget all other tips above, just remember to take deep long abundant breaths into your diaphragm. That one thing alone will make whatever scary situation you’re walking into feel not so bad after all.

Do you struggle with nerves and insecurities? What tricks work for you?

 

 

 

How to Use Your Gentleness as Your Strength

How to Use Your Gentleness as Your Strength

photo of my dog in the woods

“Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength.”
St. Francis de Sales

I’m not always gentle. But I love to be.

My mother-in-law was in town for a few weeks after we had our baby. My step mother told me that she warned her ‘not to be fooled by Liz, she may come across as sweet and shy on the outside but don’t think you can push her around, she stands strong for what she wants.’ 

The very next day my friend told me that one of her friends said to her, ‘I can’t picture Liz as a lawyer, she’s just soooo sweet.’  My friend quickly corrected her saying ‘she is, but don’t be fooled, she’ll take you down if you mess with her.’ 

While I found these back to back stories to be kinda funny, I wondered what the shareable message was. And which am I, sweet or fierce? Can I really be both simultaneously?

People don’t usually associate being gentle with being strong. And I get it. But the more I thought about it, the more I started to wonder if there’s really anything stronger than being gentle? 

I used to think that to be a good person, a gentle person, I had to put up with everything, be nice no matter how I was treated, no matter how harmful the environment, no matter how unhappy I was inside. Now I know that in order for gentleness to be my true strength, I need to show it, and myself, the proper respect. 

Personally, I view gentleness as a choice, a powerful one. I choose to be gentle, but that doesn’t mean I’m a pushover. And by making gentleness a conscious choice, I am making it my strength, instead of allowing it to make me a victim.   

When I’m able to be gentle with others, I know I’m with my people, because I get to be me, at my best, at my most peaceful, at my most helpful, at my strongest.   

When I’m with those who make my gentleness fade, who place me on guard, who make me abrasive, or who transform my being gentle into a self-inflicting wound, I know I’ve strayed off course. I am no longer with my people, I am no longer in a healthy environment, and I am no longer at my best. 

I view gentleness as a barometer. Environments or people that don’t let it thrive get quickly avoided. Environments that allow it to flourish get indulged upon. But it took me years to respect my gentleness in this way.

Like most people, I haven’t always been surrounded by gentleness. And in many ways I’m grateful for that. Maybe you can never fully appreciate the power of something if you haven’t experienced it’s opposite. It’s because of this that I choose gentleness whenever possible, always knowing that fierceness has got my back if I need it.     

One definition of “gentle” is being “free from harshness, sternness, or violence.” When people are harsh, stern or violent with others, they’re coming from a place of weakness. Weakness that leads them to try and control, manipulate, overpower, condescend, criticize, demean, etc. 

When you’re gentle, authentically gentle, you’re not looking to gain power over someone or something, you’re just you, being you, at your best, at your happiest, your most helpful, your most supportive, your most giving, your most inspired. 

I meet so many women who seem to find shame in their gentleness. Shame in their sweetness. And unfortunately many of them have developed their gentleness because they were treated harshly or felt like an outcast at some point in their life. And because their gentleness arose from something bad, it gets casted with the shadow of shame. They forget that gentleness was their choice. 

It’s so easy to be harsh and mean, rash and cold, belittling and demeaning, dark and manipulative; in fact, there’s a laziness to it. It’s a lot harder to be kind; it takes more effort, more restraint, more consistency, more patience, more thoughtfulness, more determination, more soul.

There’s no shame in gentleness. Gentleness is beautiful, no matter how it arose, as long as it’s accompanied by self-respect. If you were treated wrongly by someone, that’s where the shame lies. The harshness was the disease, your gentleness is the cure, not the other way around. And it must include being gentle with yourself.   

Being gentle doesn’t mean being a pushover, or a pansy, or a doormat. It doesn’t mean letting someone hurt you, manipulate you, control you, or push you around. 

It means putting your best side forward, treating others with kindness, and using your unique strengths to help others. It means accessing all of your potential, all of your grace, all of your ability. It means tapping into your patience, your ability to forgive, your limitless supply of love. It means working hard to rule over your ego, instead of letting your ego rule over you. 

Being gentle is a muscle that you have to strengthen, nurture and respect. It takes work, patience and discipline. But tone that muscle and you’ll learn to appreciate the depth of the strength it can provide.

Being gentle because you choose to be, because you’re in an environment that lets you thrive, because you trust and believe in yourself, that’s when gentleness is a true power.  

Gentleness is a choice. A brave one. And in choosing gentleness, and respecting it, you are boldly accessing your most authentic strengths.

Have you often thought of your own gentleness as a strength or a weakness?

 

The Privilege of Parenthood

The Privilege of Parenthood

picture of baby

I never dreamed of having children. It just wasn’t something I thought about much when I was younger.

I also never dreamed of marriage. I just wasn’t one of those girls who spent years fantasizing about their wedding.

Yet I met a man. And we fell in love. And I can’t imagine being more happily married.

The same seems to be happening with my daughter. I didn’t dream of her, yet she’s beyond a dream come true. I never had much interest in babies at all, yet every cell in my body seems to be in love with her.

After what I can only describe as an emotionally and physically draining pregnancy, I worried that parenthood for this new mom would also bring a scary depth to its difficulty. I worried that maybe I wasn’t really meant for motherhood, and that this might all have been a big mistake.

Yet once she was born, that very day, everything changed. Everything.

I knew instantly that I was meant to be a mother. Her mother. The mother of this beautiful soul. This sweet girl who melts my heart with every toothless smile. Whose dark brown eyes seem to reflect the best part of my soul.

During pregnancy you get bombarded with horror stories. Stories of early motherhood woes, all valid of course, and scary.

For some reason I chose to ignore those stories. I would sit with my husband and tell him how I expected early motherhood to feel. What I described sounded unrealistic. I wanted it to feel peaceful, loving, nurturing, relaxed and beautiful… those were the feelings we always infused into our home and relationship. I chose not to see the chaos, the exhaustion, or the stress. Of course those things would come, but I didn’t want them to be my emotional foundation.

Before our daughter I had almost zero baby experience. I didn’t even like to hold other people’s babies, always worried I would drop them.

The first night in the hospital with our daughter, I changed my very first diaper ever, hers. And I spent the rest of the night watching her. Making sure she was breathing. Catering to her every need.

Was I exhausted? Sure, I hadn’t slept much in days. And like much of my pregnancy, the birth didn’t go exactly as planned… And yet, that first night felt just as I wanted it to… peaceful, loving, nurturing, relaxed and beautiful.

And every night thereafter during those first 6 weeks when days and nights seem to flow by in a haze, those feelings stayed with me. A haze of loving, learning, nurturing, feeding, diaper changing, and praying to just keep this tiny little being alive. Through it all I felt infused with the feelings I wished for.

People in my life have been surprised at how I seemed to just ease into to motherhood and so I’ve thought a lot about why that might be. Night after night as I sat with her at 3:00 AM, tired and groggy, looking down at her, the only thing I could think was what a privilege it is to feed her, to nourish her, to care for her. What a gift she is.

I was immersed in gratitude. And that gratitude helped me feel the peace and ease I hoped for as I dragged my tired body around the house at all hours of the night.

Perhaps it was my difficulties with pregnancy that helped me grab on so strongly to that feeling of privilege. For me pregnancy was so scary, so physically taxing and so full of unknowns. As cliche as it is, I truly learned what a miracle it is to birth a child.

Perhaps it’s the lessons my husband have taught me about love that led to the ease I’ve felt with early parenthood. He’s taught me that no matter how difficult things get, no matter what life throws at us, the feelings we infuse into our relationship should never change. We can’t control life or others, but we can control what we bring to our emotional table as a couple, as a family.

Whatever the reason, I made a promise to myself, and a promise to her, to never let go of that feeling of privilege. Because it’s that feeling of privilege that makes the hard seem easy, the tough seem peaceful, the exhausted seem manageable.

It’s that feeling of privilege that I hope will keep me smiling wide when I look into my daughter’s eyes – full, happy, teeth out, eyes dancing kinda smiles – even if things around us get rough.

I surrendered to my daughter the day she was born. I surrendered to being her mother. To being all hers. I surrendered to her because she is my greatest privilege. And in that complete and utter surrender I found the peaceful, loving, nurturing, relaxed and beautiful start to motherhood that I had wished for. 

Baby picture

A Baby Is Born…

A Baby Is Born…

Baby photo

My daugher, Rayne Ember, was born on November 20th at 6:25 PM weighing in at 6 pounds 12 ounces.

She is an angel that I fall more in love with every day. I’ll be taking a break from blogging until after the holidays to continue enjoying these first few weeks at home with my precious baby girl.

Below are some photos of our first two weeks at home. More on instagram here :) 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL! 


Nourishing Your Inner Introvert in an Extroverted World

Nourishing Your Inner Introvert in an Extroverted World

Nourishing Your Inner Introvert in an Extroverted World

“To have a quiet mind is to possess one’s mind wholly; 
to have a calm spirit is to possess one’s self.” Hamilton Mabie

Does too much social interaction exhaust you? You had a great time, saw old friends, wined, dined, laughed and reconnected. The next day, all you want to do is crash…

You feel depleted, run down, exhausted. Maybe you drank too much, stayed out too late? Are you just frail, weak, lazy? Why does it often feel like you have to recover from having fun while other people can just keep going? 

If social activity leaves you depleted, you’re likely an introvert (or at least fall somewhere close to there on the introverted/extroverted spectrum). 

I used to drain myself endlessly. I love socializing but I didn’t respect or even fully understand my limits so I constantly overbooked myself (I also happen to have a very social husband who books us up constantly!). And so I struggled with always feeling worn down. Once I embraced my introverted nature I became better equipped to maintain a schedule that set limits, maximized my strengths and didn’t leave me feeling so drained.

Introverts and extroverts are like an emotional ying and yang; we complement each other perfectly but we could not be more different. The interactions that drain an introvert, energize an extrovert. Introverts gain their energy from their alone time. Extroverts energize through social interaction. Introverts live inwardly. Extroverts live out loud; they think best when they can speak through issues with others. Introverts love to sit alone and think, quietly, pensively. Extroverts would rather talk to strangers.

We live in a live-out-loud think-out-loud society. Being an extrovert is praised and admired and being an introvert is often viewed as a problem that needs to be overcome or pitied, particularly in childhood. The invaluable benefits of being introverted are often overlooked when people don’t look deep enough. And because we’re often taught as children to be ashamed of our introverted nature by society, we grow up constantly fighting against ourselves instead of maximizing our strengths.

Does any of this inner dialogue sound familiar? “Stop being so lazy, so needy, so emotionally high-maintenance, so withdrawn, so boring. Battle through, power up, keep it moving. Don’t be such a recluse. Why can’t you be more like so and so? …”

Stop fighting yourself. Give your inner introvert exactly what he/she needs and your invaluable introverted qualities will thrive.

Introverts are introspective, deep and complex. We are full of insight and reflection. We forge strong long-term friendships. We focus on projects intently. We are extremely self-aware. We’re incredibly observant, often picking up on things others miss, meaningful but less visible subtleties. We think creatively. We problem solve. We have no desire to be the center of attention, nor are we comfortable there. But we’re very aware of what’s happening there and all around us.

Small talk can at times seem meaningless to introverts. We want to jump into the intimate deep end, talk about life issues, emotional battles, topics we’re passionate about. We want to bond and share deeply. We splash around uncomfortably in the shallow end and do the butterfly stroke in the deep end. And that’s okay, thrive where you thrive.  

The traits that distinguish introverts from extroverts are out of our control, our brains are simply hardwired differently. So wasting energy trying to change or be someone you’re not is just that, a waste of energy. 

Introverts can thrive in small talk and at parties, and we can be very social but our greatest creations, our deepest thoughts, our most powerful reflections, our most sustainable energy, will always come from our alone time, our power zone. The more we respect this power zone, the more we thrive.

I have a theory on introverts that has helped me become more accepting of my own introverted nature. I believe all living beings are connected, energetically and spiritually, and that introverts tap into this energy in a very unique way. It’s this particular energetic hardwiring allows us to see the things others miss, probe so deeply, analyze so intently, and self-reflect so thoroughly. And because we’re so internally stimulated by this energy, we get depleted quickly. The energy of others shoots us up like lightening to metal, and we need peace, solitude and quiet to recover and defuse.

So give yourself permission to be still, introspective, and reflective. And allow yourself down time to recover when you need it. Turn down social events when it gets to be too many. Set boundaries. Allow yourself to thrive according to your own rules. 

You’re not frail or weak; you’re your own energy supplier. You’re the Con Ed of your soul. If you don’t pay the bill, you run all your lights out. Pay the bills and your deep introspective magic will illuminate the mind’s eye.

There’s no competition between introverts and extroverts. One is no better than the other. We simply form an emotional and intellectual ying and yang, two pieces fitting together in perfect synchronicity. The world would not be as complete, as balanced or as beautiful, if everyone was only one or the other. Most of my closest friends are extroverts and we balance each other out perfectly.

Extroverts bring the pizzazz and sparkle; introverts bring the mystery and allure. Extroverts are bright and colorful rainbows, immediately capturing people’s attention with their beauty and shine. Introverts are the wind in the trees that touches your soul in profound, contemplative and peaceful (though less visible) ways. 

Both are beautiful and perfect. Each meant to live and thrive according to their own rules. 

So respect your power zone. Find the balance that works for you. Set limits when you need to. Allow yourself to be exactly who you are. Thrive in your pensive reflections, in your down time. And enjoy all the beautiful rainbows that walk through life with you.

Have you struggled with embracing your inner introvert? 

If you liked this post, please “like” it, share it & leave a comment!

xo, Liz

 

 

 

 

11 Powerful Ways to Protect Your Sensitivity

11 Powerful Ways to Protect Your Sensitivity

11 Powerful Ways to Protect Your Sensitivity

Sensitive Soul, 

If you identify as sensitive, whether you’re introverted, extroverted or somewhere in between, your sensitivity is your foundation. Or perhaps it’s your softly sculpted flowery edge. Either way, you carry it with you, and it either guides or derails you.  

Sensitivity is so beautiful, yet so fragile and misunderstood. We spend so much of our lives resenting it, fighting it, trying to smother it down, instead of nourishing it. And the more we resent and dismiss it, the more it sabotages us. 

Sensitivity is a soft trait, with a powerful backlash if it’s not honored. 

I’ve always been very sensitive. I pick up on other people’s feelings, emotions, and energies very quickly. I absorb them. I feel them internally. And so my reactions to people can be strong. Strong but patient, sometimes too patient, sometimes not patient enough. 

There are so many ways I didn’t honor my sensitivity throughout my life. Ways I’ve been learning to correct. I thought I’d share some lessons here, for your own sensitive self… 

11 Powerful Ways to Protect Your Sensitivity… 

1. Flex Your Sensitive Fierceness.  

The funny thing about sensitive people is that they are some of the strongest people out there. They’re the ones you want around if you’re in a bind, if disaster strikes, if all hell breaks lose, if tragedy hits you. Sensitivity is often labeled as a weakness but in reality it cultivates a strength most people don’t ever experience. We’re used to feeling more so we can often simply handle more, when push comes to shove.  

Being stuck in our own heads sometimes gets in the way making us feel weak, but put us in a situation that gets us out of our head, and quite frankly, we’re unstoppable

Take a person who outwardly appears “tough” and put them in a sticky situation and you may find them running selfishly for the hills, trembling the entire way, leaving everyone behind. It’s the sensitive soul who’ll be there to pick up all the pieces with focus and determination.  

All the years we’ve spent feeling, absorbing, and internalizing, builds up a thick foundation of bravery and strength, despite a sometimes soft exterior.

Honor that foundation, tap into it, explore the ways it works in your favor.  

2. Know and Respect Your Perceived “Limitations.”

There are many areas where you’ll feel limited as a sensitive person. Certain energies won’t jive with you. Some situations will overwhelm you. Don’t beat yourself up over them, respect them, create space around them. Give yourself the room you need to breathe, to flourish.  

Here are some things that overwhelm me that I make conscious efforts to fix, avoid or reduce my time with: an overflowing inbox, too much time on facebook (lately I prefer Instagram, feels more intimate), too many open windows on my computer, people who consistently put others down (even if they’re joking), people who only talk about themselves, letting my snail mail stack up for a month (did this for years! now I check it as it comes in), too much clutter in my home (I am constantly de-cluttering lately), too many social outings in one week, etc. 

I used to ignore the effect these things had on me. I just tried to deal with them because otherwise it must mean I’m weak, I’m “too sensitive”, I’m being selfish, etc. But no, I’m stronger and happier now that my inbox consistently has less than 35 emails in it and now that I no longer hang around people who love insulting others.     

My limitations teach me things, so I respect them, and it makes life feel better everyday and far less overwhelming. 

3. Treasure Your Radical Intuition.

Your sensitivity likely makes you extremely intuitive – radically so, I’d say. Sometimes we’re so wrapped up in dismissing our sensitivity that we shove our intuition aside in the process. Don’t, it’s an amazing thing to be so in tuned with the world around you. 

People who follow their intuition the most, without letting themselves get in their own way, seem to achieve endlessly. Your intuition is your guide, it’s your compass, it’s incredibly accurate, but it will go haywire if you surround it with negative self-depricating mental magnets (trust me, I know!). 

When you feel your intuition pointing you in a certain direction, stop and listen. Pay attention and honor it. As your mental magnets start attacking, stop yourself and focus only on the intuition, let it guide you. 

4. Take Care of Your Health. 

If you’re sensitive, it’s likely not just mental, it’s physical as well. I’ve been meeting endless sensitive women lately and they have all experienced health issues throughout their life of some sort or another. Taking care of your health helps to take care of your mind. 

I’m not perfect and pregnancy has definitely affected my healthy eating habits way more than I’d like to admit – sugar and carbs call to me like never before in my life! And I can see the affect they have on me, on my mood and my energy level – or is that just the pregnancy, hard to tell! Either way, I’m eager to get back to the old me!

Pre-pregnancy, healthy eating and exercising was simply my way of life. There was no dieting, no starving, no resisting, just simply flourishing with healthy food. I’d get some weird remarks from people about my diet and I’m often made fun of at group gatherings, but it’s okay! I know what I need to thrive so there’s no apologizing. Instead I celebrate it and try my best to live by example. Now if only I could get my pregnant self to get more on board ;) 

Learn how food and exercise affect you. Prioritizing your health helps you thrive in every other area of your life. 

5. Accept that It’s Okay to Want to Please Others.

Sensitive people often put the needs of others before themselves. We want to please, bring joy, satisfy. I used to view this as a weakness, a flaw. But I realize now that this trait in and of itself isn’t the flaw, it’s when we take it too far that it becomes detrimental to our well-being. 

But in and of itself, there’s a joy in pleasing others. It makes us hard workers, thorough, detail oriented, conscientious, caring, easy to be around, helpful, and more.  

If we disconnect from that too strongly, we lose something that brings a deep joy and sense of accomplishment. The trick is to combine our need to please with completely honoring ourselves and what we want out of life. It’s not pleasing just to please. It’s pleasing with purpose, with intention, with self-awareness and self-love. It’s about finding a please-others-please-self balance.

6. Practice Putting Yourself First.

While it’s okay to find the joy in pleasing others, if you revolve your whole life around it you’ll be living according to other people’s agendas, and your priorities will get lost in the shuffle.

Practice putting yourself first. State your opinion. Put your foot down when you need to. Choose the restaurant you want to go to. Tell people “no” so you don’t overextend yourself.

You should always be your first priority. You’ll take care of others more effectively if your needs are being met.     

7. Pay Attention to Your Environment.

A chaotic environment for a sensitive person is like living a waking nightmare. That chaos could be in the physical aspects of your environment or the mental/emotional energies of those around you.

To me, this may be the most important way you can protect yourself. If you’re surrounded by ugly energy for extended periods of time (nasty coworkers, constantly grumpy family members, messy cluttered homes), it’s gonna be detrimental on your energy, happiness, sense of peace and overall well-being. Fix it. It’s imperative. It’s vital. You will absorb that energy more than most.  

Sometimes I think about the reasons I consider myself so happily married. And one of the main reasons (out of many, darling <3) is the unbelievable peacefulness of my husband’s personality, and of the home we’ve created together. It’s not our ideal home, it’s too small, but it’s calm and peaceful, always. My husband may be an aggressive attorney at work, and he can certainly keep me debating and on my toes, but our relationship and home are always peaceful. Even our bickering feels peaceful.

That’s not something I will ever take for granted and it’s no accident. I needed that so I followed my intuition to a man who could give me that.

Create peaceful environments for yourself and limit the time you spend in harsh environments.  

8. Be Selective with the People You Let Into Your Mental Space.

Similar to #7 above, it’s so important to be careful with who you let into your life. I used to not discriminate, at least not enough. I have an extremely high tolerance for annoying and selfish personalities. I spent years just keeping my mouth shut and subjecting myself to any personality that came my way and wanted to be in my space.

It’s taken a lot of self-honoring practices to learn that I can choose who I let in my life. And I find that the more that I choose, the more my life fills with wonderful, positive, happy, encouraging, nourishing, just plain lovely people. 

You only have a limited amount of space in your life. Make sure you leave that space open for those who truly lift you up. Fill up your cup with negative energies and there’s simply no room left for others to jump in. 

9. Treasure the Lessons Your Past Has Taught You.

Sensitive people often spend so much time caught up in the ways their sensitivity has held them back in the past. Understand that your past wasn’t always in your control. You were subject to the opinions, agendas, and preconceived notions of those around you. People weren’t taught to nourish sensitivity, they were taught to “toughen up”, “grow a backbone”, “be like everyone else”, “fit in”, etc. 

A lot of those lessons were simply just WRONG. And so we spent much of our lives fighting against our very natures. The very thing we should have been nourishing, we were condemning. And so we swam upstream and learned to resent the tide. 

The tide was going in the right direction all along, you just needed to learn to swim with it not against it.  Now that you know that, forgive your past. Learn from it. It’s not a reflection of your future, if you don’t let it be. It’s just shown you how important it is to swim with the tide.

10. Be Bold.   

Similar to #1 above, being sensitive does not mean you can’t be as bold as you could dream of being. Sensitivity is not weak. Sensitivity is not being a coward. Sensitivity is strong so take bold actions. Do things you never thought you could. Extend yourself. Get out of your comfort zone. Challenge yourself.

Let sensitivity be your bold accomplice. Let it be your guide in unchartered territories. 

It’s not trying to hold you back, it’s helping you experience your life more deeply. It’s your subtle sidekick, the Robin to your Batman, the thing that separates heroes from the power hungry. 

Embrace it as you make bold moves in life. The more bold moves you make, the more you’ll see what an asset your sweet sidekick truly is. 

11. Choose to Love Your Sensitivity. 

Love it. Embrace it. Celebrate it. Treasure it. Nourish it. And you will love, embrace, celebrate, treasure and nourish life a little bit more fully! 

Soooo do you like or resent being sensitive?

To the wonders and joys of your beautifully sensitive heart!

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Autumn Stories: Transitions, Twists of Fate & a Baby Shower

Autumn Stories: Transitions, Twists of Fate & a Baby Shower

Autumn Stories: Transitions, Twists of Fate & a Baby Shower...

Autumn transitions photo


TRANSITIONS…

I find myself slowing down lately. I move slower. I walk slower. I breathe slower. And I let less in. 

I have just a few more weeks before I give birth. And I’m full of wonder. Curiosity, hope, worry, excitement, joy, anxiety, laughs, tears, love, fear. It’s all there, making me smile yet keeping me up at night. 

And more than ever, I’m full of protection, for myself… I tolerate less, I avoid more, I give less time to people and things that rob my energy, and I indulge in the positive love that surrounds me much deeper. And I wonder if I’m getting selfish, or if this is how I should have been living my life all along… 

I simply have less to give, less energy as my baby and belly grow bigger and bigger. And so in prioritizing the life I’m giving her, I’m prioritizing me far more, and it’s a strange feeling.

Greedy yet empowering. Full of relief, with a side of guilt.   

And with this big change coming up, the changes its causing in me, and the beautiful change in season, I keep thinking of the transitions we take in life. The curves in the road that weren’t planned for, the changes in direction that were.  

Student, to lawyer, to wife, to selling travel for animal lovers, to wanting to engage in more self-growth work, to getting my first coaching clients, to motherhood. To feeling found, and then lost again. And repeating that cycle, over and over.

And wondering when it all comes together in perfect harmony or if life is about constantly creating, experimenting, and challenging oneself, and seeing what road leads where. Wondering how safety and security join with dreams and creativity. Wondering what it is I want to give and teach to my daughter… 

TWISTS OF FATE…

I live in the neighborhood I grew up in. A neighborhood I left 16 years ago for college and swore I’d never come back to. But with twists of fate I landed here again two years ago, leaving behind the Brooklyn home I had turned into my sanctuary. We now live in the apartment my husband bought before we ever started dating, in this neighborhood I never wanted to see again, in an apartment we’ve had trouble selling and could no longer rent (darn coops rules…).

Ironically my husband also grew up in this neighborhood, yet we never met here, despite living just minutes from each other throughout our entire childhood. We met in college, after leaving here. Twists of fate combined with love to create our story

For years I envisioned having boys, based on certain fears I have about raising a daughter. And here I am carrying a girl, in the neighborhood I thought I’d vanished from my life, smirking at all the irony.

And yet it’s all perfect; imperfect twisted into perfect. Perfect because it needs to be, so I choose for it to be. 

This is my soul work. It’s the journey I’m meant to live; to heal and to grow and to create. To transition, from old stories to new stories. Stories I write. Love I nourish. Twists in the road that I learn and work hard to celebrate.

Soon my life will no longer be just about me and my husband. It will be about what we give to our child. How we love her and the life we give her. How we teach her to travel down her own beautiful roads.

To teach her to live independently, confidently, and with grace, I need to embody and embrace all the transitions, twists of fate, and lessons I’ve been learning along the various seasons of my life.

A BABY SHOWER…  

Autumn Stories photoI had my baby shower this past weekend. And it was wonderful, packed with all the people I’ve gathered throughout my many roads in life.

A friend said to me afterward, “Wow, there was a lot of love in that room.” And there was. Love I’ve created. People I adore. And feeling that love, from all my favorite people, I realized that my soul work is well on its way. Progressing beautifully, at its own perfectly imperfect pace. 

Transitions and twists of fate, however confusing they may seem at times, however curvy the roads may feel in our guts, are leading us somewhere. Somewhere beautiful, to a destination we can’t see yet.

And all the positive things and people in our lives are all flashing signs that we’re on the very road we’re meant to be traveling on… 

Can you see all the signs in your life?

xo, 
Liz 

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{Gentle Powerful Souls} Jodi Chapman & The Coming Back to Life Ecourse

{Gentle Powerful Souls} Jodi Chapman & The Coming Back to Life Ecourse

Jodi Chapman & The Coming Back to Life Ecourse

Jodi Chapman & The Coming Back to Life Ecourse

“It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life
waiting to start living.” ~Eckhart Tolle

I met Jodi Chapman online over a year ago. She struck me immediately as the most genuine, kind hearted and giving soul, and she’s lived up to that impression and then some. She has an amazing Ecourse starting on October 1st that’s designed to bring you back to life, in every sense of the word. Have you ever felt like you’re sleepwalking through life? I certainly have and it takes a lot of soul work to get yourself out of that state. Jodi’s course is designed for just that and is a reflection of her generosity of spirit and willingness to bare her soul to transform the lives of others. Grab a cup of tea and get to know Jodi and the inspiration behind her amazing new course in our below interview. I’m a proud affiliate of Jodi’s ecourse. I stand behind her work, her generosity and her transformative spirit!

Hi Jodi! For those who are meeting you for the first time, please tell us more about yourself.

jodi chapmanIf you’re just meeting me for the first time, I would love to start by saying hello. I’m grateful that our paths have crossed, and I look forward to getting to know you better!

I am an inspirational writer. (I still pinch myself when I write that because it’s such a dream come true.) I am definitely evidence that our lives can change drastically once we make our minds up and begin to leap toward our dreams. (More about that in a bit.) For now, I’ll say that I write the blog Soul Speak, and I am so grateful for the loving community there. I also co-wrote (with my amazing husband, Dan Teck) the bestselling Soulful Journals series – 11 writing-prompt books that make getting to know yourself fun. I am the author of the upcoming book, Coming Back to Life: How An Unlikely Friend Helped Me Reclaim My True Spirit, which is what my new ecourse is based on.

Jodi, I know you have such an amazing story to share. Can you tell us what inspired you to create the Coming Back to Life Ecourse?

I was given a helping hand when I needed it so desperately, and this course is my way of offering my own hand to anyone else who is stuck and needing to wake up to their own life.

Just two years ago, I was in a very different place. I definitely wasn’t awake. I was feeling lost and numb and completely disconnected from my soul and from all of life. Like so many of us, I was living my life on auto-pilot. I was alive in the sense that my body was functioning – my heart was beating, and I was getting up each day and going to work, but I wasn’t REALLY living. I was just going through the motions – sleepwalking through life – and I wasn’t even aware of it.

And it’s not like this numbing out happened overnight – it happened gradually over a period of many years. Throughout my life, when something or someone hurt me, it felt like a little part of me left. I’ve always been a sensitive soul, and sometimes it was just easier to retreat rather than feel the pain. I also have lived most of my life feeling afraid and stepping back rather than leaping when I was called to take a chance. Also, I had spent several years in survival mode – struggling to get by financially, and if I did realize that I was numb and needed to wake up and start living, I would’ve seen this as frivolous and not a great way to make sure all the bills were paid. So all of these pains and fears and struggles piled up on top of each other – creating a dark cloud over my heart. It was just easier to go to sleep and not think about it or feel any of it.

Two years ago, all of the struggles in my life came to a head – my husband and I had to move under very stressful and surprising circumstances, we were having a hard time staying passionate about our struggling gift business, we were drowning in bills with no light that we could see at the end of the tunnel, and we had just lost two people who meant a lot to us.  So we were grieving and trying to put our life back together at the same time. All I wanted to do was crawl into my bed, pull the covers up, and wake up when everything was better again. I didn’t know how I was going to keep going.

That’s when the helping hand came. My loved one who had just died began communicating with me from the other side. He was my childhood sweetheart, and we hadn’t spoken in almost 20 years. I was definitely not open to this sort of thing at all, so it took an entire year of him sending me signs and me asking for more signs and on and on before we finally could get to work. And once we did, my entire world opened up. He helped me see that being here on Earth is such a beautiful gift – a gift that we have chosen to be a part of. He helped me see that I wasn’t really living. And he helped me wake up and step back into my life again.

Our journey together has been life-changing for me. Everything changed – all because I now saw things through a different lens. I now know that my time here is precious, and I can choose to come back to life. We all can.

That’s why I created this course. I was given this beautiful gift, and I didn’t want to keep it all to myself. I want to be the helping hand for anyone who wanted to start living again and wasn’t sure how to do it.

Your story is so inspirational Jodi, and one I’m sure so many can relate to. Can you tell us more about the Coming Back to Life Ecourse? Who is it for?

I would be happy to!

The Coming Back to Life Ecourse begins on 10/1 and lasts for 6 weeks. It’s a helping hand, a set of concrete tools, and a loving support system all wrapped up into one heartfelt course!

This course is for those of us who have ever felt disconnected from life – from our soul. It’s for those of us who have felt our light dimming. It’s for those of us who know that there is more to life than simply getting through the day.

This course is for those of us who are ready to plug back into this magical universe, reconnect with our soul, and open our hearts again. It’s for those of us who are no longer willing to just “get by” and sleepwalk through our days. It’s for those of us who are ready – truly ready – to start living fully.

If you’re ready to:

♥ live fully and love fully.
Jodi Chapman Coming Back to Life Ecourse
♥ take responsibility for your life.
♥ push past your fears & reach your dreams.
♥ forgive, let go, and move forward.
♥ see the world with childlike wonder.
♥ reconnect with your soul.
♥ believe in miracles again.
♥ open up to this amazing universe.
♥ join a community of loving souls.
♥ be completely authentic and vulnerable (in a good way).
♥ join a course that comes from the heart and soul.
♥ come back to life.

…then this course is for you!

What does the course include? 

♥ Over 150 pages of love – including weekly lessons + soulful activities. This is where you get to show up for yourself. This is where you get to reconnect with your soul and discover who you are deep down at your wisest, most loving core.

♥ Heartfelt Videos. This course contains over 30 soulful videos! Each week includes at least one video from me sharing that week’s message, one from an inspirational soul sharing their story, and one designed to teach, inspire, and offer concrete tools that you can apply to your own life.

♥ Guided Meditations. Each week contains a guided meditation that is specific to that week’s message. They are grounding and calming, and I find them to be so helpful.

♥ Beautiful offerings from over 35 soulful friends who are also on this journey of self discovery. These friends have been on a similar journey and are brave enough to share their experiences with you. Whether they share their stories and inspirational messages through video, audio, artwork, or writing – they all serve the same purpose: to help lift you up and see that you are not alone. We have all experienced the darkness, and we have all opened up to the light.

♥ A private Facebook community. In this community, we can all join to support each other in our journeys, ask questions, and share our experiences. This community will be available to you even after the course ends.

♥ Weekly chat sessions. This will be a space where we can go deeper into the material, truly support each other at the soul level, and really create a tribe filled with love and nurturing energy. I will commit to spending at least one hour each week there to talk in real time with you!

♥ My guidance/story. Throughout my life, I have found that I like to have things modeled for me – it helps me retain what I’m learning if I can see how someone else implements it in their own life. With that in mind, each week includes my own experiences and what I have learned along the way.

♥ Soul Art. I have designed printable posters to go with each week’s message. Perfect for hanging up around your sacred space and filling your soul with love each time you see it!

♥ Surprises. Who doesn’t love surprises? I have a few fun things up my sleeve that I’ll be sprinkling throughout the course – gifts of love that I can’t wait to share with you!

♥ Bonus gifts. When you register for this course, you’ll received instant access to over $150 in amazing bonus gifts!

When you register, you’ll immediately have access to the private Facebook Group, where we are already getting to know each other! You’ll also be able to download all of the bonus gifts and start going through them right away.

This course sounds amazing Jodi, and abundantly generous. Can you explain how it will be structured?

Each Monday for 6 weeks, you’ll receive an email with that week’s goodies (the workbook, videos, guided meditation, soul art, etc.). You can either set aside a chunk of time each day to spend on the course, or you can take one day to work through all of it. It’s completely up to you! Every Thursday, you have the option of being part of the live online chat where we can connect about that week’s content.

There are optional assignments every week where you can participate with the Facebook group, too!

All of this is completely optional though and can be completely self paced.

Some of us work better in a group, and some of us work better on our own. This course can be as group oriented or as self paced as you are comfortable with. If you find that it’s too much for your busy schedule, slow down and stretch it out. The material is yours forever, and you can go through it when the time is right for you. 

What are the benefits for people who enroll in your course? 

Oh my gosh, there are so many!

First, I would say that the biggest benefit for anyone who enrolls is to know that they have taken the first step toward embracing their life. They have walked toward the light and are sending a clear message to their soul that they are no longer okay with sleepwalking through life. Through awareness comes healing, and recognizing that your life isn’t how you would like it to be is the first step toward creating the life you want to be living.

Second, I would say that knowing you aren’t alone in feeling this way is a huge relief and a benefit that will last a lifetime. Like I said earlier, I went through much of my life completely closed off to outside help, and it was a very lonely way to live. Once I opened up and allowed others in, everything changed. I now feel love constantly pouring in, and I am constantly letting it flow out as well. It’s a much more free and loving way to live, and you’ll definitely experience that within the course. It’s already starting in the private Facebook group!

What can someone expect to learn from this course, and how will it change their life?

I do want to mention that this course can’t change your life unless you are willing to change the way you are living your life. You have to be open to it and you have to be willing to put in the work. That may sound harsh, but it’s the truth. I have read tons of self-help books throughout my life and was always disappointed when nothing changed. Well, it was because I simply read the book but didn’t apply any of the teachings to my own life. I read them like I would read a novel – simply for enjoyment rather than to learn and REALLY change and grow.

If you sign up for this course and simply watch the videos and read through the workbook but don’t apply any of the exercises to your own life, I’m sure you will enjoy everything but I would bet that nothing in your life will change. You have to make the choice to take action. You have to be so fed up with your current way of living that you are honestly ready to make a change. And if you are, then this course really can help you. It’s based on what I went through in my own life, so I know that it works.

Once you decide to wake up and start living fully, you will begin to examine why you stopped living and then you get to figure out how to heal from that, forgive yourself and anyone else that needs to be forgiven, open up to the universe, and begin embracing your life again.

And no, it’s not always as easy as this makes it sound. But once you begin and once you feel that glimmer of hope again – that feeling that you probably haven’t felt in a really long time – you won’t want to turn around. You’ll want to keep moving toward the light. I guarantee it. This course will start you on a beautiful journey that you will continue for the rest of your life.

Why did you decide to invite so many other contributors?  

Jodi Chapman Coming Back to Life EcoursePart of my own coming back to life story was realizing that I didn’t have to go through life alone. I used to pride myself on being a solo act – never needing to ask for help – and doing everything myself. Once I opened up and allowed myself to be vulnerable and honest and realize that I could really use some help, my entire world changed. And that’s why I asked so many other beautiful souls to contribute to this course. We each are sharing the same core message in so many different ways, and each way is equally important. And what I love about everyone’s contribution is that each one is a direct reflection of who that person is – who they are at their core. My videos are pretty quiet and reflective, whereas others are more buoyant and lively. Some have concrete exercises and lessons, while others share heartfelt stories that pull you in even though you may just be meeting them for the first time. We all have so much to share with each other, and this course is such a great representation of how beautiful our world is when we open up and collaborate with each other.

A complete list of the 35+ contributors can be seen here: click here, but here is a short list of some of the souls who share their heart inside the course:
My beautiful husband, Dan Teck http://www.halfwayupthemountain.com,
Kristine Carlson (Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Series) http://www.kristinecarlson.com
Jen Louden (The Woman’s Comfort Book) http://www.jenniferlouden.com
Linda Joy (Aspire Magazine) http://www.aspiremag.net
Amanda Oaks (Kind Over Matter) http://www.kindovermatter.com
+ so many more!

What do you hope that people will take away after completing the course?

I want them to see that there is another way to live. I want them to really know that we have a choice – we truly don’t have to go through life simply going through the motions and just getting through the day. There is an entire universe out there that we are only just beginning to tap into. Our soul is connected to such a beautiful world – and waking up is the key to experiencing this way of life.

What bonuses are you offering to enrollees?

I’m thrilled to offer over $150 in wonderful bonus gifts, which you’ll receive immediately after joining!

1. Entire Soulful Journals Ebook Series – $65 Value!

I co-wrote this popular series with my husband, Dan Teck. It contains 11 books to help you get in touch with yourself and live your best life. The topics include gratitude, soulful journaling, healing through transitions, two books for couples, two books for teens, manifesting your ideal life, and keeping your commitments.

2. Emotional Awareness Workbook – $20 Value!

My friend, Dominee Wyrick has created this beautiful workbook to help you get in touch with your emotions. It’s completely free when you register!

3. The Intuition Principle Guided Meditations – $10 Value!

My wonderful friend, Angela Artemis is giving you 3 guided meditations from her brand new program when you register! They are designed to help you connect with your soul.

4. Best Affirmations Workbook – $27.95 Value!

My friend, Scott Armstrong, is offering his Best Affirmations Workbook when you register! I have this program and can personally say that it’s a wonderful tool to help you use affirmations to change your thoughts, which will lead to changing your life!

5. The Bold Living Guides – $19.99 Value!

My friend, Barrie Davenport from Live Bold and Bloom is offering her popular Bold Living Guides for free when you register!

The Bold Living Guides include six essential areas for self-improvement: Self-Awareness and Personal Growth; Passion and Purpose; Positive Change and Simple Productivity; A Healthy Lifestyle for Mind, Body, and Spirit; Amazing Relationships; and Professional and Financial Well-Being. It’s a  beautiful, helpful guide!

6. 3 Issues of Sprout Online Magazine – $18 Value!

Created by my friend, Amanda Fall, Sprout online magazine uplifts and inspires through color, beauty, and meaning! Each issue explores soul-stirring themes, planting seeds of hope and healing. Receive 3 back issues of your choice for free when you register!

7. Flying by the Seat of My Soul Ebook – $13 Value!

My friend, Tess Marshall, has written this uplifting book that will inspire you to live more passionately and pursue your heart’s desire with more conviction! It’s yours for free when you register!

All of these are FREE and available immediately after you register for the ecourse!

Amazing!! Where can people find out more?

Please go to the Coming Back to Life page: CLICK HERE

You will learn all about the course, including each week’s content, a detailed description of all that you’ll receive in the course, and a complete list of contributors!

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What else would you like to share?

We have all felt disconnected from our soul and the universe throughout our lives. This is completely normal. And when we feel this way, it can be hard to know how to plug back in. When I was feeling numb, I had a friend help guide me back. That’s why I created this course – to be that helping hand for you. To offer concrete tools and a loving community to support you in your journey back home. I would be thrilled if you joined us. Isn’t it time you woke up and embraced your life again? Isn’t it time we all did? This amazing ecourse begins on 10/1 – I hope you’ll choose to come back to life!

Are you ready to awaken your life? CLICK HERE to learn even more about Jodi’s Coming Back to Life Ecourse!

    

19 Positive Affirmations to Transform Your Self-Confidence

19 Positive Affirmations to Transform Your Self-Confidence

19 Positive Affirmations to Transform Your Self-Confidence

19 Positive Affirmations Photo

Below are 19 positive affirmations to remind yourself of, strive for, and live by to help you fully believe in yourself and all the beauty, character and depth you inherently possess (even when the world tries its hardest to throw conflicting ideals your way…). 

1.  I am a magically feeling tender heart beating creative manifestation of someone’s {or some greater being’s} perfect vision of love.

2.  I am kindly welcoming, vulnerably open and spontaneously giving. I have a limitless capacity boundary-breaking heart for the collective sharing.

3.  With each harsh word delivered my way I learn, grow, and expand with empathy, depth and wisdom so I can heal others with speed, focus and clarity.

4.  Family may misunderstand me but kindred spirits abound and I trust that my soul sought the home it needed for growth, expansion, lessons unlearned, mysteries unsolved, and elevations yet unknown.

5.  I am more than my past, my mistakes, my faults, my circumstances, my struggles, or my diseases. I am a magnificent totality of imperfect parts only beautified by my choices, bravery and impact.

6.  I may not love my ______ but it gives personality driving character to my totality, a unique addition to the sum of my bodacious parts; plus my _____ is slammin.

7.  I am defined by, and I define others by, love grounded principals, essence exuding manifestations, and radiant energy transmissions. Income, status or title float shallowly in the depth of my perceptions.

8.  I admit when I’m wrong, despite my pride, ego or the taste of the words as they flow out my mouth. My need be right isn’t as important as living in my truth.

9.  I respect my sweet and sour jealousy for all it teaches me about what I yearn for from life. I let it’s sweet center guide me in positive directions so its sour shell doesn’t poison others.

10.  I feel. Deeply. Powerfully. Fully. I am gifted with the strength and power of my abundant feelings.

11.  I cry to release internal toxins and cleanse the air and ground around and beneath me as only the purity of water and exfoliation of salt can do. It is beautiful, necessary, cleansing and empowering.

12.  I don’t allow the harshness of others or the world around me to harden the softness that lives inside me. It is my softness that helps to heal the world.

13.  To my _____, I am the sun, the moon and the planet his/her life orbits around. It is through those eyes that I know the extent to which I can be loved.

14.  My kindness towards animals mirrors the purity and innate depth of my character for, unlike many, I am gifted with the ability to see the purity and innate depth of theirs.

15.  The way I treat people who I seek and expect nothing from is the same way I treat those I hope to gain and learn from.

16.  I value my health, even when my needs inconvenience others, as I can’t truly love myself without loving and inner-adorning the shine that encapsulates the magic of my soul.

17.  I forgive and cherish my mistakes, mishaps, slip ups, foul words and temper losses as items I needed to try on for size to truly understand what a bad fit they’d be for my mental, physical and spiritual wardrobe.

18.  I train myself to focus on positive thoughts so the fruits produced by my subconscious are ripe and rich instead of weeds that devour and swallow.

19.  I am perfectly imperfect. I strive for better while loving all that I am today. In loving myself today, I am better equipped to improve myself tomorrow.

Speaking to yourself positively is an invaluable skill for self-confidence that requires mindfulness, practice and discipline. With a little help, it can become your daily practice.

How do you speak to yourself daily? 

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