My Love Story (& everything I know about love…)

My Love Story (& everything I know about love…)

My love story

I’ve been quite sick these past couple of weeks. I’m dealing with a slight medical condition that’s causing me to go a little haywire. I’m totally fine, I’ve just been struggling a bit. 

Through it all my loving adoring husband, Jaime, has been taking care of me and dealing with the ups and downs with the patience of a saint.  

And so I feel compelled to tell you our love story… 

It’s not the usual love story. It wasn’t love at first sight. It wasn’t a whirlwind romance. It was a blossoming, slow and steady, and it gets more beautiful every year. 

My husband and I grew up in the same small neighborhood in New York, but we never met. We went to the same school as kids, but he left after 6th grade and I started there in 7th grade. Eventually, we ended up at the same college in Boston. 

We never dated in college, we just slowly became friends (very slowly). He was one year ahead of me and after he graduated he worked for a year as a paralegal. We ended up starting law school at the same time, right after I graduated college. His law school brought him to Miami, mine brought me back to New York.

Despite the distance, fate kept bringing us together. Random parties or events when he’d come back to New York. Shared friends. Tragedy. The New York Bar Exam. 

Studying for the bar was an experience, I actually have fond memories of it. I made two close friends in law school, best friends to this day, and we went through every second of it together. And I had Jaime. Throughout that summer we checked in with each other, met for coffee study breaks, and continued to build our friendship. 

After the exam was over, that very day, we started dating. Again, it was slow and steady. I had done whirlwind and love at first sight before and it ended in disaster. With Jaime I found that slow and steady really does win the race. 

My husband and I are so different. Ying and yang in every way. And for awhile I wondered if we could really work. I never expected our love to unfold the way it has. 

Every year our friendship deepens. Every year his heart seems to grow bigger.  Every year I love him more. 

My husband teaches me what love is all about. And so if I have any tips to share about loving your partner it’s from the lessons I’ve learned from him. 

What I’ve learned about love from my husband…

Love generously, selflessly, wholeheartedly. My husband puts me in awe. He doesn’t just do birthdays, he does birthday week. He celebrates Valentines Day like it’s our anniversary. He does things to surprise me as if he’s still wooing me. He’s not always the best communicator with words so he makes up for it with an abundance of actions. He knows where his strengths lie when it comes to love and he uses them. Maximize your strengths in love and your weaknesses won’t matter as much.   

Love with positivity and respect. My husband never yells or insults me. Never. It’s quite amazing. No matter how frustrated he gets or how much we argue, his voice never rises to a yell. I’m far more emotional than he is but he’s taught me that there really is no place for harsh treatment in our relationship. His calm demeanor keeps me calm. We don’t curse at each other, we don’t demean each other and we don’t insult each other, ever. Because of this we never have to worry about crossing the line or saying something we’ll regret. We may disagree, argue, and have “discussions” but we don’t degrade. Always show respect to your partner, no matter how upset you get at them.   

Be confident in your love. I was once in a relationship with an extremely jealous man. He got mad at the mere sight of me talking to another man. It was toxic. At first my husband’s complete lack of  jealousy made wonder if he loved me enough! But now I know that he just chooses to be confident in our love. He chooses to never try to control me. Instead he simply holds my hand and walks through life with me. He’s shown me what it means to love with trust which allows me to love him more. Always be weary of unfound jealousy, it can tarnish even the best of relationships. Choose to trust. 

Create simple rituals. My husband gives me the longest warmest hug every single morning after we wake up and every single evening when he gets home. It grounds us and reminds me that no matter what happens throughout each day, we are each other’s foundation. Create easy rituals that ground your love and do them no matter what arguments come up in between. 

Take care of each other. My husband seems to think of me with everything he does. I don’t say this to brag, it’s how he loves everyone in his life. And so he brings me little things, calls me a thousand times a day, tells me he loves me at the end of each phone call. He helps me endlessly when I’m sick. It’s the little things that sometimes make the biggest difference. With each little thing he does for me or others he teaches me how to properly care for someone and show love. I’m constantly learning so I can get better at it. Show your loved one how much you love them by simply showing you’re thinking of them and taking care of them.  

Love no matter what. We all have days or weeks when our partner gets on our nerves or we fight or bicker endlessly, but love through that anyway. Choose to love. Decide that no matter what, you will love through it all. In so many ways, love is a choice. The initial heart flutters and butterflies in your stomach come to an end. If you’re in a good relationship with a good person, choose to stay in love every single day. 

Forgive, forgive, forgive. We all make mistakes. We all lose control. We all say things we don’t mean. We all F up. Deal with the problem as best as you can and then let it go. My husband never holds a grudge, he never brings up past events or arguments, he never holds anything over my head. Once we deal with something, it’s done, over. He doesn’t let it keep rearing its ugly head. And so I’ve learned to do the same with him. Grudges are full of ego, anger and negativity. Learn to forgive and let go. 

Accept that it won’t all be perfect. Absolutely nothing in here should imply that our relationship is perfect, all fairytales and knights on white horses, no way. We have had our struggles, like every relationship. We even had to get couples counseling before we got married. We even discussed not getting married. The imperfections come with the territory and add to the story. You grow in the imperfections. As long as you’re both putting in the work, the imperfections help create the fairytale. Grow together in your imperfections and weave them into your love story.

Love unconditionally. I haven’t always been good at loving myself unconditionally. Yet my husband seems to love me that way no matter what I do or where I’m at in life. It’s such a comfort. We all deserve that. We have to choose to give that kind of love to someone. It’s so easy to get frustrated with your partner or to let things get stale but you can instead choose to love them no matter what every single day. Choose to stay in love. Choose to be nice. Choose to try harder. Choose to show love the best way you know how. Choose to love with positivity. Choose to love selflessly. Choose to love unconditionally.  

This is my love note to my husband for teaching me so much about love. So much I never knew. So much I’m still learning. 

The truth is that we are all teachers in love. We teach each other, we teach our children, we teach ourselves. And it’s never too late to learn new lessons, to stop negative behaviors or habits, to be more selfless, or to even find a new teacher if you need to leave a bad relationship. 

But once you find a good teacher, don’t let your love story go stale, simply choose to stay in love and choose to love unconditionally. Choose to create the love story you’ve always dreamed of, even if it comes in an unexpected way. And always let fate play a hand, it knows what it’s doing. 

Some of our wedding photos… 

finding love

finding love

Wedding photo

Wedding photo

 finding love

finding love

finding lovefinding love

finding love

finding love

Signature

 

 

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62 Responses to My Love Story (& everything I know about love…)

  1. Words cannot express how much I LOVE this post. Love, love, love. Beautiful story and wonderful lessons. Also, you look stunning in your photos! xo

  2. Karie Hill says:

    This is beautiful. Thanks for sharing your story. I loved reading every word and the pics are gorgeous.

    To many more years of pure love.

    xoxo

  3. Laura W says:

    Since I am lucky enough to know both of you I can say confidently that your love story inspires those around you…especially Danny and I. Your love is a constant that will carry you through- no matter what. Luv u L.

  4. Cris:Gladly says:

    A beautiful post with so many true points about what real love looks like. It is a choice. It is letting the other person be fallible. It is holding one another sacred no matter what.

  5. Corrie says:

    Beautiful, beautiful post!

  6. Eddie says:

    Tremendously excellent post, Lizzy. Having personally witnessed some of those building block moments, I love how your candor and genuity are on display! So brave. Reading your post makes me want to give my wife that bear-hug of a hug. Really, really well done and I will certainly incorporate some of your advice (also glad to see we do many of those things already.)

    • Liz says:

      Awww Eddie!! Yes, give Erin a hug for me while you’re at it!! Thanks for reading, you’re the best. Miss you guys!!

  7. Lana says:

    LOVE LOVE LOVE this post Liz! I am in tears at my desk! xoxoxox Love you guys!

  8. MollyG says:

    Ha. Who did you write this for exactly? Sounds familiar to me…

  9. MollyG says:

    Also, I hope you feel better and “right” again soon.

  10. Bernardo says:

    Dear Liz,

    You have a gift and it’s ever so present on this beautiful piece of love that your heart openly shared today. Your words touched my heart on so many levels that it’s hard to describe right now in words. What a beautiful gift to share your life with this man who besides being a source of light is a lucky person indeed to have you.

    Sending you both all of my love today and always,

    Bernardo

  11. Luz says:

    Querida Liz,

    I have not read you for over 2 weeks and I’m so glad today I took 5 minutes of peace to read such kind words. Thank you for sharing with us. This is great advice for a soon to be married friend of yours AKA ME! :)

    Your words bring peace and happiness to my heart.

    Love you!

    LB

  12. Nathalie says:

    Liz this story is just so beautiful. You made me shed a few tears:-) You have a beautiful love and I thank you for sharing! Love you!

  13. How beautiful- loved that you have documented your story. Gorgeous pictures- thanks for sharing!

  14. [...] learned about love and friendship {the good ones, and the bad}. About embracing moments. About following my heart. [...]

  15. Lesley says:

    Another beautiful post, Liz. It brought tears to my eyes. I wonder if the others on the bus noticed? :)
    Your writing is so eloquent. I grasp a little nugget of knowledge from every post.
    Thank you & hope you feel better soon.

  16. Elvira says:

    Thanks so much for sharing. As usual, so much of who you are resonates with me! I often wonder if my fiance is the right one for me. I know (from reading this) now that we probably should go to counseling. But most of all, like you, I haven’t always been good at loving myself unconditionally either but I am comforted in the knowledge that my fiance loves me no matter what. That singular knowledge, is the main reason why I know that I can do this and it keeps me going. Otherwise I would have been long gone! Ha ha!

    • Liz says:

      Hey Elvira :) For what it’s worth, I found couples counseling really helpful. We just went a few times but it made a big difference. Having a unbiased third party can really help you both see things differently, provided you find a good one. I also found that a lot of those pre-wedding doubts go away by the wedding day :) Hope it’s the same for you! xoxo

  17. I love this post and all that it engenders. You are such a gracious example of gentle living in all that you do and all that you embrace. May your love for each other flourish and deepen with each year that passes. One of my fondest memories: when I was sixteen I worked in a retirement home and two of the residents in my “row” displayed the kind of love every woman dreams of. THeir names were “ma and pa Smith.” They were in their nineties and they still held hands. When pa sat at the “birthday table,” ma waved. When ma sat at the “birthday table,” pa waved.

    As I read this post I couldn’t help but think, yes, love is a choice isn’t it?

    • Liz says:

      Aw I love that story Sue Ann! I hope that will be my husband and I one day. But instead of the retirement home, maybe a yacht in Spain ;) A girl can dream! Thank you Sue Ann!

  18. Glori says:

    I could not and still can’t fully put into words, even after reading this a second and third time, the emotion that came over me. I’ll try by simply saying, for me, your love story is a pillar of hope. Thank you for sharing this with the world. <3

    • Liz says:

      Thank you Glori, everyone deserves a love story (or 2 or 3 :)) so I know your hope will lead you in the perfect direction. XO

  19. Melody says:

    Beautiful story! I, too, have learned lessons of love from my husband. And we have definitely had our moments of passionate communicating :-) The thought “solid as a rock” comes to mind as I think of these kind of men (and marriages!)

    • Liz says:

      Hey Melody! I love that, “solid as a rock” with our guys. Even when “passionate communicating” can sometimes feel like we’re talking to a rock! ;) So glad you found such a great guy.

  20. Jennifer says:

    Liz, you are stunning and this story is stunning! Thanks for the heartfelt love lessons. I hope you’re feeling better!

    xo Jen

  21. Liz says:

    Thank you so much Jen!! xoxo

  22. Stephanie says:

    LOVE! It’s so refreshing and inspiring to read such a positive and uplifting (and realistic) story of love. I love knowing that there are couples out there who love each other the way you both do.
    Lots of good lessons here – thanks so much for sharing this!
    xoxo

  23. Talene says:

    Hey! Love your story and so beautifully written…thank you for sharing :-)

  24. Beautiful beautiful story, Liz! Oh, I love you even more! “Choose to love”….I will remember that. It is tough sometimes, but I know that Kevin and I have that love. I will always keep that as a reminder. Thank you for this amazing post. The pictures are oh so beautiful too. Big love to you, my friend. xo

    • Liz says:

      Big love to you Lisa! I’m glad you have that love. I know it’s hard sometimes, for everyone. But you my dear are so easy to love :)

  25. [...] I mentioned in a recent post, I’ve been sick as of late. I can’t lie, it’s been such a drag (II’ll be fine though). One [...]

  26. Beautiful story Liz! So happy you have Jaime.
    Your line Choose to love reminds me of what I remember learning with my husband in our marriage counseling class prior to getting married- it always guides me–”Love is not a feeling, Love is a choice.”

    Thanks for sharing a bit of your world. Always enjoy your words. And miss our calls!!

    • Liz says:

      Cheryl! I miss our calls too! Thanks for reading. Love really is a choice, we just have to choose wisely! Hope you’re well! XO

  27. Immaculate says:

    This is amazing. I am so inspired and learned so much from your love story. You two look amazing!! Perfect couple. God bless you & I am so glad to know you.

  28. [...] my first child. I’m beyond excited and grateful and 100% emotionally ready to start a family with my husband who I’ve already given the father of the decade award; preemptively but well-deserved. We’re [...]

  29. [...] nothing but purity, even the aggressive ones. A gift that leads me to surround myself with the most loving wonderful people I can [...]

  30. [...] year and a half ago my husband and I started green juicing. We’ve done it just about every morning since. We could have gone [...]

  31. [...] I think about the reasons I consider myself so happily married. And one of the main reasons (out of many, darling <3) is the unbelievable peacefulness of my [...]

  32. [...] I met a man. And we fell in love. And I can’t imagine being more happily [...]

  33. [...] then when I met my husband and we fell in love in the unlikeliest of love stories, it was the peace in our everyday dynamic that made it work. [...]

  34. [...] way sexier, more secure, more comforting, more loving, more stable, and all around more awesome. Marrying a nice person is likely the best decision I’ve ever made. He’s badass in the confident, loyal, loving, [...]

  35. […] But my husband taught me a better way. He is endlessly my teacher in love.  […]

  36. Keri LoMele says:

    Absolutely beautiful post!

  37. Heidi says:

    This is beautiful. I love how your writing is so natural and real, you are able to give advice without sounding condescending or like a know-it-all. I relate to so much of what you write and want to meet more people who think and feel the way you do!

  38. Pedro Tracy says:

    I and my boy friend as been separated for a long period, I cam across different spell caster and they were all unable to bring my lover back. I was so sad and almost gave up on him when i met a spell man called DR Osimen, who helped me get my lover back. Ever since then i have been so happy and couldn't believe it would happen. He also helped me with success spell, I have been living happily with my lover now and will be getting married soon. Here is his contact if you need his help. osimenspelltemple@gmail.com

  39. Pedro Tracy says:

    I and my boy friend as been separated for a long period, I cam across different spell caster and they were all unable to bring my lover back. I was so sad and almost gave up on him when i met a spell man called DR Osimen, who helped me get my lover back. Ever since then i have been so happy and couldn't believe it would happen. He also helped me with success spell, I have been living happily with my lover now and will be getting married soon. Here is his contact if you need his help. osimenspelltemple@gmail.com

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